have i fallen? i think so. this week is supposed to be one of the greatest weeks of the year, but i have yet to see why. i'm sloth, unmotivated, unhealthy, can't get a deep breath for all it's worth. i should be sending more resumes out, as i've told practically everyone i know that i'd do. i should be studying more. i should be reading and getting my private practice/meditations done, but i just can't. another down period for me. doesn't help that my brother is in town n will be using up my screen n space for 3 days (72 hours?).

Tags: brother, health, practice, sloth, spring break
Current Mood: lethargic

wow this is what it must feel like to had a stroke or something. my brain can't really function, my emotions cannot be stirred, i just don't feel like doing much. on the contrary though, i did get my taxes in, and the TurboTax said i might get 13$ back. interesting eh? my bro's bday is today, but since i don't believe in passing on celebrations of the stupid idea of birthdays and imaginary start and end of times, i won't be giving him my congratulations on surviving another year of life. he might be coming over to spend time here with grandma. i don't know what he'll do because my windows is frizzy. i'll let him play with it. w/e. i spend most of the afternoon playing SMG, which i'll be playing for a couple more hours after i finish my cold dinner of chinese bbq tofu and kofu stuff i've been having everyday since i moved here. egh!

Tags: brother, computer, sloth, stroke, super mario galaxy, taxes

I recall one of the first homosexual thoughts that I had, way back when I first moved to Danville in 3rd grade. Just around the block was this really cool blond guy, Johnson, I think his name was. Taller than me, he treated me like a younger brother, brought me along to bike rides and random strolls around town. It was a great summer. Then he left, for what I can't recall, whether college or something. For the rest of the summer, I hung out with his younger brother, who somehow had dark brown hair, and was really pale in comparison. I'm thinking it's because of this experience that I now have a thing for tall and skinny guys. Hair don't really matter. Kinda heart, isn't afraid to ask me to do things with him, anything, to share a passion with me, and share passion. *sigh* here my depression comes again....

Tags: bike, boys, brother, crush, memories, summer