So it's another awkward night with maybe a little too much booze already; how is that possible though? only 2 cans of Sparks and i've had to clean the floor (?).
Good old fashioned company is also rare; p is out cleaning his stuff when guests are over and al thinks things aren't ok. Going out to celebrate and relying on alcohol to ease the weekly stresses is not in my book. We did go out and walk for a good while to see open houses, that was enjoyable though the sunburns could have been avoided.
Back to the main thing, why does dee insist on having booze at every event? how can i get him to see it isn't healthy? am i beginning to sound like a prude?

Tags: alcohol, company, mobile entry
Current Mood: irritated

my stomach is seriously messed up. partly because of too much alcohol, partly because i haven't been sticking to a vegetarian diet that i think my body prefers. last night was a great party, but i probably didn't need to alcohol. i tossed twice. i've had the runs ever since. i don't think i'll be able to hold down dinner. i need to lie down and hopefully get up for xmas eve mass that i'm playing for.

Tags: alcohol, bad
Current Mood: sick

Yeah, I know I should totally be going to bed now, otherwise I just might not make it to work on time at 830. Yikes, earlier and earlier I work, but it works because I get more and more money.

Anyways, just had to quickly recap this weekend's events.
Friday I kinda almost forgot there was the youth group class that night, until my aunt graciously reminded me when I bumped into her by accident (I've kinda been avoiding family as much as possible). So I text, and rush down to meet up with Karebear. Great class.
Saturday morning I rush back down there again, because we have a field trip to BodyWorks2 at the SJ Tech Museum. Plastinated bodies, really gross, but I managed to distract myself by paying attention to the wonderful quotes and explanations on the walls. I should have brought my notebook so I could take jot them down, because they were really inspirational and totally true/insightful. I wonder if they're on the website... Then I get back in SF and join my friend Aaron's gf Terry for her birthday celebration. She had invited like a lot of people, including some gays, but it just ended up being Aaron, her, me, and her coworker Mary, a crazy Filipino (I think. we were talking a lot about the similarities between Filipino and Malaysian and Indonesian so I got quite confused and mixed up halfway through the conversations). Good food and really fun dancing at Element Lounge, though there were no gays, but plenty of eye-candy.
Sunday rolls along, and i don't get up until like 2 in the afternoon, at which I get something to eat and then join Preston and Sami and Cherie for a night of movies. At first I was a bit hesitant, because of some unresolved feelings, but it turned out to be ok, because I got drunk enough off of 2 shots of vodka with Starbucks Peppermint Dark Chocolate Mocha, and then a bottle of Smirnoff Apple Sour somethingerother Malt. Strangers with Candy and the half of BoyCulture, Antonio joins us, and we do some mock-drag-sketch, in which somehow I end up only in my underwear. Sami then deserts us, as well as Cherie, and then a boy Preston talked with online for a while joins us, Kenneth, the cute tall white twink who works at Starbucks in Castro. P twists his ankle, and is completely distracted by it that Ken leaves, and P gets depressed, and Ant and I ditch...

Sweet surrender, come to me now, as I must sober up for work tomorrow. Should I take a painkiller or a sleepingaide or should I just ride the hangover out..... I need to clean my room this week, seriously, and get my finances/budget figured out. I think I'm gonnna be in the red soon... Oh, and get laid :D

Tags: alcohol, birthday, body works, boy culture, clubbing, flesh, movies
Current Mood: drunk

Yeah, so here I am listening to music and putting my expenses and income stuff into my linux program, and it's really cool. Yes there is a learning curve, but it works out in the end. Right now it says I have like 1400 in cash... i'm not sure where it all is, but its somewhere. yeah right.....

Yesterday was not a really good day. I got drunk with 2 glasses of wine, and then wasted after 1.5 more. ouch.... we didn't even do anything. And Antonio got to go watch a Diana Ross concert, that bitch. I should save for some concert sometime. We are thinking of attending a showing of The Color Purple, inspired by the movie and book. I have seen/read neither.

Saturday did some workouts, then just hung out with P and Perla. She got a date and was just totally in love, it was sickeningly sweet. We ate at The Cove on Castro (haha COC!) and P's "friend" Alex joined us. Very cute, tall, Shanghainese from NY. We did some shopping/walking, and then settled at Cafe Flore, where we just sat and chatted, when Rick/Artem joined us. More talking and chatting. Wow, yeah azns r so Hott!! P and Alex then went home (seperately), and I went to Ant's with RA, when then they headed out to club. I stayed at Ant's for the night, and we worked out in the morning.

So yeah, nothing really happened. Drunk friends is actually not fun. I wish some of them, no names here, would learn to control their alc intake, as I am just realizing I should do. I don't like it, because for me as I get more and more wasted, I get more and more depressed. There are some issues that I have yet to figure out and resolve in me, and until then I won't be happy when I'm wasted and/or high. I could be comfortable around loud/flaming queers, but only for so much. I am a more quiet person, who prefers slower personal and forward times. I like to improve myself and have something to do, though I do admit that it's nice to just do nothing once in a while, like Saturday night. Just sit and hit the hay. That also helps me to learn more social skills, more specifically how to converse without censoring myself. To talk about anything and not worry about everyone's opinion, because it's my own opinion, that would be fabulous.

Back to learning how much i get and spend.... happy days :P

Tags: alcohol, chatting, finances, money, music
Current Mood: mellow

I am writing this at a really ungodly hour, and I hope I can finish this in time for some decent sleep before a really long day tomorrow.

This weekend was the annual Castro Street Fair/Festival. It was fabulous, full of hot gay men, booze, and sunshine! Friday after work I went to a bar with coworkers, as one is leaving us to supervise a new location. One more is leaving, to most of our ease. Responsible drinking is actually very good for me, as it gets me relaxed and I am able to converse more. I still have to sometimes pull shit out of my ass to start or move conversation forward, but it's a learning process. Was there for like 4 hours or something before I decided to head home. Watched some TV, porn, web-isodes, then went to sleep.

Saturday morning was supposed to be meditation class in the city, but I am just completely trying to escape that hellhole. I really don't enjoy it at all, because Chinese people just don't know how to let up, and to me everything is still rather superficial, giving "face". Damn that concept. Makes everything seem OK when nothing is. I went to help Antonio buy some stuff for Sunday's party. Then I went downtown to try to buy a nice hoodie and/or jacket for evening outings. I found 2 ok ones at Ross, neither of which Preston really liked, and only one of which Antonio said was OK when I showed him Sunday. P had his really Southern-ish queen friend Chris, who is just fabulous, I must say. P got a speaker radio thingy for his iPod nano. I don't what it's called, but it's pretty good. Then Tom joined us, we had sushi at Sushi Rock on Polk. Oh yes, before that, P got me to Armani Exchange and somehow convinced me to get this amazingly fashionable brown denim jacket that I must say looked good on me. Tom said it looked "80's" whatever that means. Some styles are meant to stay. I returned it today because it was just too expensive.

Sunday rolls along, P and I have brunch at the Cove amidst the throngs of skin and money and love (from relationships to universal love and everything else in between). We walked around a bit, joined his friend Chris and Alberto for some more drinks and stage performances, including a breathtaking Katya Smirnoff-Skyy, mezzo soprano like you have never seen.

After that, we finally got around to Antonio's beer party, where I got really drunk and red. We pantsed the crowd, but not past undies. I also get embarrassingly emotional, and P talks to me, then I cry in the bathroom for a few minutes, before coming out again and making as if nothing happened, tho no one noticed my eyes were even redder because all of my skin was already red as a lobster. After a few hours, when I begin to realize that the high is beginning to wear off, we go down to Osaka and they get some more Sapporo and sake into me, where I get drunk again. Thankfully, P is smart and sober enough to get me to his place for the night, where I have my car parked. Sleep comes and goes, warmth comes and goes, the incessant noise comes and goes.

Today comes along, I'm almost late for work, but I stay later and leave with a sandwich. Christina is a fabulous lady, wants me to go shopping with her sometime along with Henry. Of course I won't be able to get anything, but I can at least get more opinion on what looks good on me and stuff like that. Wednesdays there is a meditation class at the SF LGBT Center that I don't know if Carina is interested. I hope I remember to ask her tomorrow, otherwise I have to call her. After work, I join Antonio, who's still a bit hungover and drunk, eat some, watch some TV, then drag his ass along with me to return the Armani jacket, then go to Urban Outfitters to get an even better jacket, and DSW for fabulously gay Diesel shoes, I think they are. They were in the basement, which still shocks me that sales is so lucrative/secretive that cheap is passed on through word of mouth. They were 40% off, to total $45 after tax. Originally like $62 before tax. Fabulous! (I want to find some other descriptive words other than fabulous. It gets boring after a while...)

I can't handle this anymore. LDRs are not my piece of pie. I have to call John tomorrow to break it off, but I have no idea what to say. I know I'll have to make it easy on him, saying it's more me than anything else. He is a most wonderful person, a true friend, a real human that I love. But this distance is the thing that I cannot handle. Nights get too lonely, it gets too depressing to see others with their significant other and not being able to share experiences with my significant other on a regular basis. I would really want to still be his friend, he can call on me for comfort, but that's the most I can do for someone further than 7 miles from me. I am dreading that moment, when I say, "We can't be anything until either of us moves closer, and has more freedom, financial and family obligations". If I ever move in with my dad, I would be more than happy to be his boyfriend and more, but now is not the time.

I hope that makes some sense. I need sleep before work tomorrow. I better get up for breakfast. I also desperately need to deposit before I do any more disaster to my budget.

Tags: alcohol, relationships, street fair
Current Mood: worried