ain't goin' nowheres, sonny!

so i definitely believe there are some friends that are worth one's time, and some friends that aren't. then again, time is the only one that can tell if you've made the right decision to stick to it with patience, diligence, and tolerance.

i used to have some covetous feelings towards some of my other acquaintances for their close-knit groups, the asian "gangs". I have a found a group to be with, actually, and it's slowly dawning on me that they are doing me well, and i am doing them well, as well. i still have some pangs of guilt, fear, jealousy, because I still don't seem to fit in, but it's coming to be as it will be.

I just finished watching 2 movies: I Am Guilty (german), and Chicken Little. the former was a little confusing, not much plot to it, more like a month in the life of a near-nobody. i could connect with it on a certain level, though, the feeling of being slightly lost, no action, only dreaming and alone-ness (vs lonliness). there many people in my life looking out for me, it's silly how i choose to ignore them, to a certain degree.

the latter movie was rather uplifting and enlightening. who'd've thunk, eh? pixar/disney coming up with a cute cartoon that actually teaches something! closure, communication, family love, doing anything to show their love! in some ways, i have a lot to learn, and a lot to put to practice. specifically, i need to let someone know how i feel about them.

the reason why i went through the movie brigade, is earlier this evening, as well as a few days ago, though with a different person but still tying in to this one, i had a fight that ended sorely. IM fight, however you label it. we've been having many fights lately, because i have problems with talking to someone only through a text basis. i get frustrated because typing/keyboarding/texting doesn't adequately express my feelings and history and mental state, no matter how i try to learn to express it. i don't know if i should try to make it up to them, as it seems to happen a lot. they're from different worlds, and trying to bring them closer to the horizons isn't easy. makes me wonder if the cliched idea that the things that are most worth it in life are those that we fight for idea.

Tags: emotion, friends
Current Mood: enraged